While the students, as a group, have been receptive and responsive to what is happening in class, I remain anxious. The problem is that the window for establishing our focus and direction is closing and there are, in my mind, some critical things for us to figure out, develop, and strengthen. What's complicating things - providing competing but interrelated needs - is generating an overall vision, set of concepts, and employing concrete practices to realize and coalese the concepts. These are reenforcing, both necessary but time is short for both to occur. It's like trying to board a train that is already moving. And it needs to be moving or we lose interest altogether.

So what do I mean? We need more time to discuss the seminar idea - a heighten sense of obligation to each other, a shift in communication pattern. We need to review and internalize the three course themes to give us somethings to center around and hang these far-reaching topics and ideas that we uncover on to. In nuts and bolts terms, we need help with understanding the course evaluation process - what participation really means, what the presentations look like and how we talk and listen with each other. In addition, the attention to detail, how the web site is used, daily use of email. How to structure and conduct the quick research (as much the heart of the course as can be, the hardest to realize so far and the piece that might all pull it together, at least gradually).

Again, I have no complaints about the students. But my anxiety sets me up for some frustration with them and lack of patience when things don't simply fall into place. It's not their fault - I need to better allow for a process to develop, rather than simply trying to impose it and then being upset when it doesn't pan out exactly the way I envision it.

I am a bit nervous about how to structure and manage this class. I am trying to make a more seminar-type environment but it has the chance of being chaotic. It may trade off the opportunity for students to be self-directed to being meandering and meaningless. And in a way we won't know until it happens. It's a risk, one that I have to relax about, be clear about. Whenever there is a power vacuum, as the person where the buck stops, I could be sucked in. Then we lose something. It will take an ongoing renegotiation of relationships and group dynamics.

On the other hand, what gives me confidence is this group of students. They look good - motivated, and invested. They want to succeed and indicate that they want this class style to work out. And they seem quite capable. I only hope that I can match them.